Music is anything but serious. At least Beggars Row music isnt!! Here are a few music
jokes you might appreciate.
How do you know when there is a bodhran player at your front door?
The knocking gets faster and faster.
What is the difference between a bodhran player and Dr Scholls sandles?
Dr Scholls sandles buck up the feet.
What do you call someone who hangs around and annoys musicians?
A bodhran player.
What do you throw a drowning drummer?
His cymbal stands
What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
The chain saw has greater dynamic range.
What is the difference between a banjo and a cattle grid?
People slow down when they drive over a cattle grid.
If you drop and accordion,a set of bagpipes and a bodhran off a 20 storey building,
which one will hit the ground first?
Who cares.
Why does David Ritchie walk when he plays the bagpipes?
To get away from the noise.
What is the difference between a seamstress and Bob Ferguson's whistle playing?
The seamstress tucks up the frills.
How do you know when a stage is level?
Bob Ferguson drools out of both sides of his mouth.
What is the difference between a soprano and a rottweiller?
Jewelery.
What is definition of perfect pitch?
When you toss a banjo into a skip and it lands exactly on top of the bagpipes.
What is the difference between Government Bonds and folk musicians?
Government Bonds eventually mature and earn money.
Gus Spankie's fingers are like lightning.They rarely strike the same spot twice.
What is the difference between Bob Ferguson's finger picking technique and a bucket
of manure?
The bucket.
What is the definition of a gentleman?
Someone who can play the banjo, but doesn't.
How do you stop a drummer from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
What is better than roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ.
What is another term for bagpipes?
A wind driven,manually operated pitch approximator.
What do you do with a bad drummer?
Take away one stick and make him a conductor.
Beggars Row audiences are very religious. When Gus plays a solo they all shout "Oh
my God!!".
How do you know David Ritchie is at your door?
He doesn't know when to come in.
How do you know when Bob Ferguson is at your door?
He knocks because he cant find his key.
What is the least heard phrase in music?
"Would Neil Nicholson please remove his ferarri from the stage door as he is blocking
us in".
What is the difference between a banjo and a set of bagpipes?
The bagpipes burn faster.
What is the difference between a car engine and Gus Spankie's fiddles?
You can tune a car engine.
What is the definition of a Russian Folk Duo?
A Russian Folk Quintet after a tour of the UK.
What is the difference between a banjo and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.
Why does David Ritchie walk about when he plays the bagpipes?
It is harder to hit a moving target.